Paying the Price

I learned something very life-changing recently. I’m excited to share it with you too because I love to see you grow and become all that God had in mind when He made you.

For a long time, I felt very dissatisfied within without any obvious reason. My prayer time seemed too dry and boring. It seemed like nothing deep was going on no matter the time I spent praying. I was struggling. It seemed like the glory of God had lifted from my life. The presence of God was not as palpable as it used to feel. I wasn’t used to this. I always felt God around me. Spending time with God stopped being something I looked forward to anymore. I started doing it out of duty whether or not I got what I wanted.

Dissatisfaction stepped in because my heart kept seeking but it wasn’t filled. My expectations were not being met. For a long time.

I went to God about it.

He plotted a graph for me, giving me examples of men of God throughout the Bible. Men who did great things for God and fulfilled their destinies in the scriptures and even in contemporary times. God encountered them first — drew them to Himself. He showed these people His glory. His presence endeared their heart to God and left an imprint in their soul. The more time they spent with God, the more they longed for Him.

But it was a passing moment.

Moses was one of them. He thought God had departed from Him. He was dissatisfied and distraught. He climbed Mount Sinai for forty days and forty nights tarrying in God’s presence until He touched God again. When He got down from the mountain, everyone knew He had been with God. His face was white because the glory of God had enveloped him so intricately.

It became enduring for Moses.

He had paid a price to get what He wanted.

It became clear that I was dissatisfied because I wasn’t paying the price to get what I wanted. I had seen a glimpse of God’s power and glory. I was longing for it. But how will I get it?

Benny Hinn wrote in His book — Longing for God takes one to the Outer Court; thirsting takes one to the Holy Place; and seeking leads one to the Holy of Holies. I wish I could talk about three locations, but it might take an entire book.

I will just go straight to the price to pay.

The price depends on how hungry and dissatisfied you are — Moses stayed until He got what He wanted.

I realized my mistake. I gave up too quickly. I should have stayed until I encountered God again. I should have kept at it. I should have kept coming until I was filled.

I should have paid the price.

Now, I know better because I understand how it works now. I will keep paying the price until I see God in glory.

This is my charge to you too because I know every child of God longs for God in their hearts — a craving so deep in our souls that only God can satisfy. I hope you pay the price too.

“God—you’re my God!  I can’t get enough of you! I’ve worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts. So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love, I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you.” Psalm 63:1-2 MSG

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